yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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