hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
