Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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