ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
