Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
