im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My dick has a subreddit