I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad