well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize