hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown