Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.