apparently the secret to your success is patron
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
