in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
