Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
