she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She's the barista slut.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
