The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
