3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
