I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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