i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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