I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
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Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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