he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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