; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
