living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
