ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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