I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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