how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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