would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
