It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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