we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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