I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
