I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
