scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
