I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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