she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
