I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
