it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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