I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
