I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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