Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
