hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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