i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize