He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My life is pants optional.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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