his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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