I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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