sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
