this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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