He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
