I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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