that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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