i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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