I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize