I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Two words: blizzard sex
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize