in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
