SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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