Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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