spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
