Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
