if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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