Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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