So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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