1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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