Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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