btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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