Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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